Seeing my child grow year after year has been one of the greatest blessings the Lord has ever given me. There was a time when I was so nervous about becoming a mother that I didn’t think I wanted children at all. Now, I can humbly and joyfully admit just how wrong I was! Every milestone has been nothing short of miraculous, and I’m in awe of how beautiful this season of life truly is. I now fully understand what God means when He says children are a blessing from the Lord.
As the mother of a three-year-old little girl, I can’t imagine life without her. The first year was incredibly challenging—not because of her, but because I had to work and couldn’t spend every moment with her. Thankfully, God made a way for me to stay home most of the time now, and I treasure having her with me. Still, it’s not always easy to let go and allow her to be independent. Even at just three years old, she’s already a mighty little warrior in so many ways. I can only pray she grows to truly see and embrace the incredible strength God has given her.
These past three years have been bittersweet. They’ve flown by so quickly—what feels like three months instead of three years. I cling to every moment I can: every memory, every book we read, every song we sing, and all the little things she’s learning and doing as she grows.
Why Letting Go is Hard
As mothers, especially those rooted in faith, we have a natural instinct to guard, protect, and nurture our children. It’s deeper than anything a book can teach—it’s innate. We know our children so well that we can sense what they need or what’s affecting them, often better than we know ourselves. With this intuition, it’s easy to assume we always know what’s best for them. So, we set up their world to prevent mistakes. But here’s the truth: mistakes are how they learn.
There’s also an emotional attachment to being needed. For many mothers, being needed can feel like part of our identity. While motherhood is a beautiful identity to carry, it shouldn’t become the foundation of who we are. When this happens, it can be hard to balance other relationships—like with your spouse—or adjust to life once your children are grown.
The Beauty of Letting Go
ILetting go has shown me how independent and capable my child has become. It has required me to step back and allow her to take the lead in small ways, but the results are incredible. Children who are allowed to fail and try again gain both confidence and independence.
I encourage other mothers to let their children take safe risks. Let them climb a short distance where they won’t get too hurt if they fall—it’s how they’ll build trust in themselves. When your child says, “Me! Let me do it!” that’s your chance to give them space to try. They’ll begin to hear and trust their own voice, and through that, they’ll learn to listen to yours.
Seeing my daughter problem-solve on her own has been a joy like no other. Just this morning, she wanted to reach her stuffed animals on a high shelf. Instead of stepping in, I waited to see what she’d do. She found something to use as a stool and got them down herself. Watching her imagination and determination unfold in that moment was priceless.
Letting go also strengthens the bond between mother and child. When we show confidence in them, they begin to find confidence in themselves. They sense our respect for their ability to grow and figure things out.
Practical Ways to Let Go
If you’re wondering how to practice letting go, here are some simple, everyday ways to encourage independence:
- Let Them Choose: Offer two or three clothing options and let them decide what to wear. Even if the outfit doesn’t match, it’s an expression of their individuality—and honestly, mismatched outfits are a trend these days!
- Snack Choices: Instead of deciding for them, give them a few snack options and let them pick.
- Chores: Everyone in the family can contribute, even toddlers. My daughter helps clean her room, feed the pets, and is learning how to dress herself.
- Involve Them: Whether it’s cooking in the kitchen or helping with small tasks, let them assist, even if it slows things down. Encouraging their willingness to help nurtures a mindset of service.
- Explore Outdoors: Allow your child to play outside where you can see them but let them explore and imagine freely. These moments of curiosity are building blocks for the challenges they’ll face later in life.
Letting go isn’t about stepping away completely—it’s about stepping back just enough to let your child grow, learn, and become the incredible person God designed them to be.
Lessons for Mothers
Many believe that “letting go” means stepping away or releasing their child entirely. But that’s not the case. Letting go is about standing beside your child, offering them strength and encouragement as they grow. It’s being their constant—a steady presence they can turn to when needed. As you transition from the baby stage into the energetic, unpredictable toddler stage, you grow alongside them. Don’t let these moments pass unnoticed. This phase of your life involves both grieving the past and embracing the new. Embrace it together with your child. They will sense your confidence and trust in yourself, even if they don’t yet understand it fully.
Letting go is about building a foundation. What you invest in them today shapes their future relationship with you and their own growth. To create a strong foundation, you must allow growth to happen naturally, releasing your grip gradually as each stage unfolds.
This process isn’t sudden—it’s a slow, ongoing journey. Every age brings new challenges and joys, offering fresh opportunities to let go and grow. I remember a mother who, each year, shared a photo of her child with the caption, “This is my favorite stage.” Year after year, I watched and admired her ability to cherish the beauty of every phase. Each stage truly does hold something special.
Trust that your child will continue to depend on you for years to come, but remember they must first learn independence before they can understand interdependence. Independence teaches them to stand on their own, while interdependence shows them how to connect with others in healthy, meaningful ways. By fostering growth through these stages, you set them on a path toward becoming confident, capable individuals who understand the balance between relying on themselves and leaning on others.
